drums::some songs currently in rotation

Kinda poppey but I still likey.
Kid Cudi-Up Up & Away

This song from 500 Days of Summer just stuck out to me. I didn't even like the movie that much
The Temper Trap-Sweet Disposition

Sick performance earlier tonight
Jay-Z ft. Alicia Keys-Empire State of Mind (Live VMA performance)

This is like dubstep for beginners
M83-We Own the Sky (Udachi remix)

spacey
M83-Slowly

how is it possible that the same song doesn't get old...who is Rob Swire anyways.
Deadmau5-Ghosts N Stuff (Robert Swire Vocals Remix)

the French know how to go crazy
Major Lazer-Pon De Floor (Chewy Chocolate Cookies remix)


(right click Save Link As to download)

XVIII

if you haven't noticed already 18 is my favorite number. I don't know why.

maybe it's because my birthday is on november 18, 1988

or 11/18/88

or 111888

either way, it's a good number.

Anyways, I still can't get over the oprah flash mob


it has nothing to do with this but it reminded me of when U2 invaded the rooftop of the liquor store.

Capitol

I learned today that I was rejected for a chase visa card because of my current outstanding balances. I got worried and ran a credit report to see how fucked I currently am in the world. To my delight, my credit score is not bad at all, pretty normal actually.

That completely sounded like a MLIA post.

I've been back at home for the past few days. I learned that being back home is a lot more fun when you are 21. I'm not even 21 yet, but everyone else is.

I threw up all over a sidewalk on friday night.

I haven't spun out of control like that in a long time.

I got to hang out with childhood friends during this visit home. Maybe not so much childhood...but my wonder years. In the vicinity of 6th grade to senior year. If I learned anything from this crowd it's that I don't have to be afraid of the real world after college. I look around and all my homies are already living in it. Talking about getting apartments and shit, paying rent, gaining financial independence; it's such a trip. I vaguely remember even talking about the future. Bachelor parties, weddings, reunions. I am grateful for all I have, and all of my past. It's always nice when the past comes and visits.

stelly welly

alifeepidemix (10:16:11 PM): hehehe

alifeepidemix (10:16:12 PM): ur right

x stellular x (10:16:17 PM): okay go shower i can smel your smelly dick from here

alifeepidemix (10:16:21 PM): LOL

x stellular x (10:16:36 PM): <3>

alifeepidemix (10:16:44 PM): bye stelly welly

alifeepidemix (10:17:02 PM): hey

Auto-response: x stellular x is away (10:17:02 PM)

Enter away message text here.

x stellular x (10:17:09 PM): what

alifeepidemix (10:17:12 PM): fuck u

alifeepidemix (10:17:14 PM): hehe

x stellular x (10:17:18 PM): hahaha

x stellular x (10:17:21 PM): uncalled for

alifeepidemix (10:17:28 PM): hehehe

alifeepidemix (10:17:33 PM): ok shower

alifeepidemix (10:17:38 PM): bye dickoid

x stellular x (10:17:44 PM): bye fat fuck

i miss stelly welly and sammy wammy. u fucks

I remember. It's so crazy looking back and seeing it all happen again. I feel all giddy inside.

Tragedies of staff, past and present. jk. not really.



80HD and THA WOOD


Again, 80HD and THA WOOOOOOOOOD. D. D.


The First One: 2008 and 2009


There will always be a special place in my heart for this.


There are a bunch more, but I'll post later.

Tragedy compilation pt. 1. A lot of people STILL don't know what this means. Here, look at this. LOOK AT IT.

Many more to come! hehe

I gotta bird's eye view

bird's eye view

An overview, as in This balcony gives us a bird's eye view of the town, or This course gives you a bird's eye view of historyfrom Eolithic man to the Gulf War in one semester. This expression can be used literally, for a panoramic view such as a bird might see, as well as figuratively. [c. 1600]

everything is everything

PEACE MOTHAFUCKA PEACE

So I just got home from a spop mixer/party. For the first time since I moved into my new place, the apartment is completely empty-with the exception of the dog. My original plan was just to come home and pass out. But now that there's so much space everywhere..the tv is on, laptop is churning, and mind is thinking.

At the party, I guess you could say I was not really feelin it. I think it was a mixture of being high and super tired. But why am I so awake right now then? the fuck.. what?

I think its been so long since I've been in a room or place by myself that I needed to jump on this opportunity. I must really be an introvert. All I remember from tonight was loud noises, people screaming, the occassional face coming up close to me asking if I'm okay, and taking a dump in Morgan's bathroom.

It's so quiet in this apartment, there are always people everywhere coming in and out, which is coo, but this is fucking nice right now.

i wonder

what is it exactly that separates you from the rest?

why kissing with your eyes closed and your eyes open makes a huge difference.

why is it that i find the motivation to work out but not do anything else? the gym is like therapy

how i've never seen Jarhead before, someone told me a couple of years ago that it was a bad movie. That person should be slapped

how am i not tired from only getting four drunk hours of sleep?

if the brakes in my car need to be inspected

if and when leading this simple lifestyle will get old. it still hasn't

if all the people i see but don't acknowledge are doing the same thing to me, or if they really don't remember who i am.

if spop 1 is going to be ridiculous. it's already going to be ridiculous, but i have extremely high expectations. will i get those same chills when i watch the talent show this year?

when will be the next time I cry? either happy or sad.

whether or not my apathy of what people think is a gift or a curse. Both?

when I will muster enough will to quit smoking. I've never seriously tried. What does the patch feel like?

if it really is that simple. is the key to a healthy relationship just reciprocity of trust & love. not so perplexed anymore. Or is it? Who knows.

why people say you feel love in the heart. I think it's more of a feeling in the stomach.

where all my aggression went. i used to be a pretty moody person. maybe its in the weight room.

when i turned into such a meat head

at what point i stopped caring i was one

when i'm going to see my mom, dad, grandparents, cousins, sister again

if i'll ever get to reconnect with people in my life who are gone. As in moved away or passed on.

why my mood for music is bipolar. One second its tiësto the next it's tamia or destiny's child

if all the michael jackson 'lovers' would feel comfortable sleeping alone in his house.

when all these bad people will get their karma. nobody particularly in my life but just in general.

when i will find a desire to seek God or deep meaning of some sort. lack of desire right now, for sure.

can't think of a title at the moment

I feel like I've always been a prideful person. Not the good kind of pride that you have in your family or country, but the kind that stops you from apologizing to your friends, or keeps you from opening up when it's clearly the healthiest move. The toughest part is swallowing your pride. I've had to do it a couple of times since Summer started, and it is probably one of the toughest things to do; naturally, being all prideful and shit. But really if that's the move you make, then you are on your way to a happier life. If you get over the initial hump and just say your sorry, or let them know what's wrong, on your mind, not on your mind, then it's all just one big...healthy release. I swear passive aggression is lethal.

Kind of a side note but before I forget I want to address the current state of me & dear old SPOP. Some of the things I mention might not seem so sweet, it might even sound like hateration. And if this offends you...then LOL fuck off. Well I've made it pretty clear to myself that I don't believe in spop magic. Yeah when things go off like color revealing or the talent show I feel a sense of excitement and happiness, but I wouldn't even dare to go so far as calling it magic. Sometimes when people get up and make their speeches about the majestic power of spop I giggle in the back of my head. Don't get me wrong I really do enjoy the program, and it does make a difference in so many lives, but the whole magic shit is wack (to me). This program allows for us as staffers to get to know so many people, from all affiliations around campus-which is awesome. But realistically I know I won't stay connected with half of these people later on, if not way more. That's what happened for me last year, and I am not expecting anything greater or less this year. I don't want to sound mean or anything, I'm not trying to target anyone. But its just the way it is. Everyone has their own take on spop, I suppose this is just mine. Then again, it could just be that I was never really big on magic type things as a whole. Like disneyland for instance, I could care less about it. Before seeing magic, I see business and dollar signs everywhere. lol I sound really naccissistic. Those two times I experimented with Ecstasy at Together As One and How Sweet, even at the drug's peak I never really thought to myself...oh man this shit is magical. I always knew it was a drug taking chemical effects on my brain, body and nerves. With my spop kids. I have and always will think of them as friends before sons or daughters. I've had the privilege of getting to know this group of people more intimately than the rest. When summer is over and spop is done, they are my friends above anything else. I hope we all keep in touch!

JANET

I remember when I was in elementary school I heard Janet Jackson's latest single "Together Again". I really liked the song so my mom went out and bought The Velvet Rope for me. To my disappointment, that song was the only one I was feeling on the entire album. Why didn't she sing this song at Michael's memorial?

hahahahahahaha fuck you

I would have never thought that going to the gym a lot would have a lot of ridicule attached to it. Well fuck you!




So, what are you doing for a living these days?" Bob asked me. We're sitting on the couch at one of those tedious holiday get-togethers, you know, the ones where you're supposed to be nice to family members you never see except during major holidays and funerals. I think Bob is my wife's brother-in-law's second cousin or something.

"I'm the assistant editor and a writer for Testosterone magazine," I say. Bob looks at me with a blank expression on his face, as if I'd just told him I sell handmade testicle warmers beside the freeway and was looking to open franchises across the nation.

"It's a bodybuilding magazine," I say.

Blank expression. Deer caught in the headlights. Ronnie Coleman doing trigonometry.

"Oh," Bob finally says, "I heard you were, like, one of those bodybuilder guys or something. So, what's that like, you know, working out every day and stuff? I just don't have time to lift weights all day, but I have been meaning to get rid of this beer belly." He takes another sip of beer. "What do you suggest?" Sip.

At first I was a little offended. I wanted to grab him up and say, "You can't tell I'm a bodybuilder?! Look at my %@#! Now, if that's not a nice round squat-built piece of sirloin, I don't know what is! You think that comes naturally? I can crack walnuts with this puppy! Wanna see? Huh, punk? Do ya? Do ya?"

Then I realize this just might cause a scene and could cost me several Christmas presents. I was planning on returning any presents I got and using the money to buy a power rack, so I didn't want to jeopardize this gift getting opportunity. I also realized that old Bob probably had a certain preconceived image of a bodybuilder and I just didn't fit that image. I'm not gorilla huge; I weigh about 205 at 5'11" right now. (When I first started lifting I was a pudgy 159, so that's not too shabby.) Also, I wasn't wearing clown pants, a fluorescent string tank top, a hanky on my head and one of those little fanny packs. And isn't that what real bodybuilders are supposed to wear?

Bob continued to sit there drinking his Natural Light, smoking a cigarette and waiting for an answer, oblivious to the fact that he'd come this close to seeing some serious walnut- crunching %@# power. I tried to figure out how I could explain to the average guy what the typical T-Man does and why he does it. How could I get him to understand what it is we do, how we feel, how we live? So I took a deep breath and told him something like this:

"Well, Bob, I guess you could use the term bodybuilder if you really need a label for what it is we do. Most of us actually don't stand on stage and compete, though. We lift weights and manipulate our diets so that we'll look good naked. Sure, it's healthy too, and we'll probably live a longer and more productive life than the average guy, but mostly it's about the naked thing. Truthfully, it goes beyond even that.

"Let's be honest here. We do it because of people like you, Bob. We look at you sitting there with your gut hanging over your belt and we watch you grunt and groan just getting out of a chair. Guys like you are our inspiration, Bob. You're better than Anthony Robbins, Bill Phillips, Deepak Chopra, and Zig +!@%!%* Ziglar all wrapped up into one. We love it when guys like you talk about not having time to exercise. Every time we see you munching on a bag of potato chips, you inspire us. You're my shot in the arm, Bob, my living and breathing wake-up call, my own personal success coach.

"You want to know what it is we do? We overcome. We're too busy to train, too, but we overcome. We're too busy to prepare healthy meals and eat them five or six times a day, but we overcome. We can't always afford supplements, our genetics aren't perfect, and we don't always feel like going to the gym. Some of us used to be just like you, Bob, but guess what? We've overcome.

"We like to watch 'normal' people like you tell us about how they can't get in shape. We smile and nod sympathetically like we feel your pain, but actually, we're thinking that you're a pathetic piece of #*#% that needs to grow a spine and join a gym. You smile sheepishly and say that you just can't stay motivated and just can't stand that feeling of being sore. (For some reason you think that admitting your weaknesses somehow justifies them.) We listen to you $%@+$ and moan. We watch you look for the easy way out. Because of people like you, Bob, we never miss a workout.

"You ask us for advice about diet and training and usually we politely offer some guidance, but deep inside we know you won't take our advice. You know that too. We smile and say, 'Hope that helps. Good luck,' but actually we're thinking, 'Boy, it would suck to be you.' We know that 99% of people won't listen to us. Once they hear that it takes hard work, sacrifice and discipline, they stop listening and tune us out.

"We know they wanted us to say that building a great body is easy, but it just isn't. This did not take five minutes a day on a TorsoTrack. We did not get this way in 12 short weeks using a Bowflex and the Suzanne Somers' 'Get Skinny' diet. A good body does not cost five easy payments of $39.95.

"We like it that while you're eating a candy bar and drinking Mountain Dew, we're sucking down a protein shake. You see, that makes it taste even better to us. While you're asleep we're either getting up early or staying up late, hitting the iron, pushing ourselves, learning, succeeding and failing and rising above the norm with every rep. Can you feel that, Bob? Can you relate? No? Good. This wouldn't be half as fun if you could.

"We do it because we absolutely and totally get off on it. We do it because people like you, Bob, either can't or won't. We do it because what we do in the gym transfers over into the rest of our lives and changes us, physically, mentally, maybe even spiritually. We do it because it beats watching fishing and golf on TV. By the way, do you know what it's like to turn the head of a beautiful woman because of the way you're built? It feels good, Bob. Damned good.

"When we're in the gym, we're in this indescribable euphoria zone. It's a feeling of being on, of being completely alive and aware. If you haven't been there, then it's like trying to describe color to a person who's been blind since birth. Within this haze of pleasure and pain, there's knowledge and power, self-discipline and self-reliance. If you do it long enough, Bob, there's even enlightenment. Sometimes, the answers to questions you didn't even know you had are sitting there on those rubber mats, wrapped up in a neat package of iron plates and bars.

"Want to lose that beer belly, Bob? I have a nutty idea. Put down the +!@%!%* beer. I'll tell you what, Bob. Christmas morning I'm getting up real early and hitting the iron. I want to watch my daughter open her presents and spend the whole day with her, so this is the only time I have to train. The gym will be closed, so I'm going out in my garage to workout. You be at my house at six in the morning, okay? I'll be glad to help you get started on a weight training program. It'll be colder than Hillary Clinton's coochie in there, so dress warm.

"But let me tell you something, Bob. If you don't show up, don't bother asking me again. And don't you ever sit there and let me hear you $%@+$ about your beer belly again. This is your chance, your big opportunity to break out of that rut. If you don't show up, Bob, you've learned a very important lesson about yourself, haven't you? You won't like that lesson.

"You won't like that feeling in the pit of your stomach either or that taste in your mouth. It will taste worse than defeat, Bob. Defeat tastes pretty goddamned nasty, but what you'll be experiencing will be much worse. It will be the knowledge that you're weak, mentally and physically. What's worse is that you'll have accepted that feeling. The feeling will always be with you. In the happiest moments of your life, it'll be there, lying under the surface like a malignant tumor. Ignore it at your own peril, Bob.

"Don't look at me like that either. This just may be the best Christmas present you'll get this year. Next Christmas, Bob, when I see you again, I'm going to be a little bigger, a little stronger, and a little leaner. What will you be? Will you still be making excuses? This is a gift, Bob, from me to you. I'm giving you the chance to look fate in those pretty eyes of hers and say, 'Step off, $%@+$. This is my party and you're not invited.' What do you say, Bob? Monday, Christmas morning, 6am, my house. The ball's in your court."

Okay, so maybe that's not the exact words I used with Bob, but you get the picture. Will Bob show up Monday? I don't know, but I kind of doubt it. In fact, Bob will probably take me off his Christmas card list. He probably thinks I've got "too much Testosterone," like that's a bad thing. I think Bob is just stuck in a rut, and as the saying goes, the only difference between a rut and a grave is depth.

The way out of the rut is to make major changes in your life, most of which won't be too pleasant in the beginning. The opportunity to make those changes seldom comes as bluntly as I put it to Bob. Most of the time, that opportunity knocks very softly. What I did was basically give Bob a verbal slap in the face. You can react two ways to a slap. You can get angry at the person doing the slapping, or you can realize that he was just trying to get you to wake up and focus on what you really want and, more importantly, what it'll take to get it.

If you're a regular T-mag reader, I doubt you need to be called out like Bob. But maybe you've caught yourself slacking a little here lately. Maybe you've missed a few workouts or maybe you started a little too early on the usual holiday feasting, like, say, back in September. Just remember that the time to start working on that summer body is now. The time to get rid of those bad habits that hold you back in the gym is now. You want to look totally different by next Christmas? Start now. This isn't because of the holidays or any corny New Year's resolutions either. The best time is always now.

Christmas day I want you to enjoy being with your family and friends. I want you to open presents, sip a little eggnog and have a good meal. But if your regularily scheduled workout happens to fall on December 25th, what will you be doing at six o'clock that morning?

right now

I feel like right now, this moment RIGHT NOW, there is a short window open for my desire to blog.

That being said I can't stop getting over the fact of how priviledged I am. I guess it's good that I'm acknowledging it, but at the same time I should be doing a lot more. For example, I'm pretty sure I'm going to get my tuition covered next year through grants and such. Rather than trying harder and giving it my all, I can already predict the inner-slacker preparing himself.

Love is complicated. The game of love is perplexed. It almost makes me want to say 'fuck you'. But I mean, what can you do right?

They say that music quality remains the same at any volume. Whichever scientist said that deserves to be slapped in the face. As harmful the high decibels are for my drums, its the only way I really like to enjoy my music...especially in the weight room and in the ride.

Hella emo but, is it weird to get sad for no reason? For the most part, everything in life is going well--I really can't complain. But I guess it would be humanly impossible to stay that way all the time. I'm not really sad as much as I am somberly calm. Like right now, I don't really know whatsup.

So I heard about the Air France plane this morning. Seriously sad. Did it fly over the Bermuda?

I never really saw this last year or the year before, but it's actually really sad to see all these seniors summing up their college careers. In just one year that's gonna be me. Where does the time go, for reals.